


Aunt Agatha's Astonishing Adventure

by Luthienberen



Series: I Say! Jeevisan Bingo! [1]
Category: Jeeves & Wooster
Genre: Crack, Humor, M/M, Multi, Sex Club
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:15:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24091948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luthienberen/pseuds/Luthienberen
Summary: Due to a series of mishaps - all Bertie's fault naturally - Aunt Agatha finds herself in a sex club.[Otherwise known as “The Trouble with Nephews” as written by Aunt Agatha Gregson née Wooster.]
Relationships: Reginald Jeeves/Bertram "Bertie" Wooster
Series: I Say! Jeevisan Bingo! [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1738093
Comments: 4
Kudos: 37





	Aunt Agatha's Astonishing Adventure

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the [Indeedsir](https://indeedsir.dreamwidth.org/) 2020 Jeeves and Wooster Bingo Card challenge. My Bingo Card is [here](https://luthienberen.dreamwidth.org/177014.html).  
>  **Square: Sex Club**

* * *

Agatha dearly wished that her nephew Bertie, if he must keep his far too able and clever valet, would actually _learn_ from the man. Jeeves, the impeccable scoundrel, possessed an acute perception whilst being as slippery as a snake and devious like a fox.

Talents she admired, but not when applied to preventing her nephew from marrying. Mind you, considering she now found herself in a sex club of all places, it was evident that Jeeves was a vital asset to be retained.

Frowning at her surroundings, Agatha wondered how the half-naked men were not cold. Oiled muscles shifted as the men in question strolled around the tables, flicking come hither stares at the occupants. The clientele were a mixture of women and men, who were quite excited and dressed rather too lightly for Agatha’s refined tastes.

Observing from her own table where she had been seated upon entrance, clutching the spare ticket her nephew Claude had been concealing, Agatha pondered how one man could be such an epicentre for trouble.

Upon her visit to her gibbering nephew Bertie earlier that very day, she had learned Jeeves was on holiday which left her nephew unsupervised (beyond a temporary valet of sub-standard intelligence). Sensing an opportunity Agatha had tried to secure Bertie for the evening, only to be given the slip due to the theatre play he had been invited to by Claude and Eustace.

Well, one had been suspicious, but being older and wiser (and therefore more skilled at lying), she had played dumb and pretended to believe Bertie. The fool had smiled in relief, eyes far too bright and voice too earnest in his felicitations – a tide of rosy farewells she had swept out on. She had been disappointed in Bertie’s gullibility and wondered at Jeeves not addressing such a fault.

Though, at the time of course, Bertie’s easy going nature had worked in her favour, for it had been ridiculously easy afterwards to secure a spot opposite Bertie’s flat and direct her chauffer to shadow her nephew - all in the effort to discover whether the theatre was truly Bertie's object. After following the idiot around London (and really Bertie, that "lady" wanted more than a shilling!), he had met Eustace outside this club in a shabby yet sleek street. 

Abandoning her car and chauffeur discreetly further up the street, Agatha walked with confidence down the pavement (and confidence could get you into places nine times out of ten, with Class seeing you through on the tenth occasion) to find a convenient nook in a closed bookshop.

The bookshop was a trifle odd with fulsome lavender curtains drawn across the glass contrasting a sign admitting ‘adults only’. How curious, though not as curious as her two nephews across the road.

As she settled into her hideaway, the two boys gained entrance once the gentleman on the door had reviewed their tickets. They subsequently entered together with Bertie declaring loudly - as Eustace attempted to shush him - that this was a corker of a location.

Agatha sighed from her concealed spot across the street. Subtlety was indeed lost on Bertie.

Fortunately at that juncture Claude arrived so she collared him, secured her ticket from the terrified fool and swept in.

Agatha observed as one of the men approached her table with a smile. His black hair was swept back, grey at his temples and skin a weather beaten appearance. His naked chest was oiled like the others, though not as muscled and sprinkled with fine silver and black hairs. Yet Agatha felt it was rather more appealing; more as if this chap (she believed her nephews talked of “chaps”), was a real being and not some misplaced Spartan warrior.

Unfortunately, his trousers required a tailor for they were dreadfully tight, evidencing certain anatomical parts which while impressive were not for civilised company surely? Agatha determined to give him the details of a reputable tailor. She knew Mr Aubrey was a fine gentleman with a creative flair and swift fingers. Even more importantly, he was the definition of the word ‘discreet’.

A quality this…this…handsome spectacle of a man would certainly appreciate. 

In the meantime Agatha drew out her fan to cool her cheeks, because it had suddenly become rather hot.

"My darling, is there anything I can do for you?" His voice was rich, with a pleasant burr Agatha couldn't immediately place.

"A drink would be acceptable if you please Mr..?"

"Just Christopher," and he grinned in a manner that was terribly forward though also pleasing.

"Well Christopher, is there a menu?"

A salacious smirk was her reply and a card slid over even as he called for a drinks list.

Opening the menu quickly Agatha was shocked.

_Spanking - hand or rod_

_Foreplay - various on offer, to be discussed_

_Kissing with tongue - upper body or lower_

_Kissing with tongue - all over_

_Kissing with tongue ( & teeth?) - upper body or lower_

_Kissing with tongue ( & teeth?) - all over_

_Kissing and fondling - boundaries to be agreed_

_Bathing_

**_Bondage options..._ **

Agatha hastily shut the menu and found she had to wave her fan more vigorously.

There were no prices attached – presumably due to some semblance of politeness, but really! Glancing up at her friendly companion and then to where a bewildered and frankly aghast Bertie Wooster sat, Agatha sighed once more and came to an executive decision.

"I shall have the kissing and fondling, my good man. First I must save my hapless nephew and return him to the care of his absent companion."

"Ah," said Chris sympathetically, "this place is too much for him?"

"Too delicate a constitution. Do excuse me."

It was all over in five minutes - a blundering nephew thrown into a taxi and an alarmed Jeeves recalled from holiday with money forwarded for a first class train ticket naturally. It was evident that Jeeves' services were necessary and vital to preventing her nephew from diving into complete disaster.

At least this fracas spared her from seeking a suitable wife for Bertie. Today’s events had revealed to Agatha that she simply couldn't ask a woman to take over when Jeeves obviously could manage just as well. Agatha would be surprised and disappointed if the sensible valet did not construct a wiser strategy to implement the next time he was absent.

Such musings were for the future and currently she had another nephew to deal with – one who was cowering in his seat. Agatha could see an excuse forming on those quivering lips so she spoke with all the authority an Aunt could summon and informed Eustace that he and Claude would be waiting on her tomorrow at 2pm precisely.

Extremely satisfied by the ashen pallor this news generated, Agatha returned to her companion to savour what delights Chris could offer.

After all, a lady of her age ought to have fun.


End file.
